Men at Midlife: The Quest
for Bigger, Better & Younger
Julie Vecchione DeSimone
Craig Roer recalls the moment he started to reassess his life. “I was 48 years old, and I realized that I was getting older and I wanted to fit everything in.”
He made a decision to remove all the “negative influences” from his life, both personally and professionally. He got divorced, made a major career change—and bought a red, BMW convertible.
“You have to grab everything you can before it’s too late,” says Roer, now 56, of Huntington. “Life is too short to settle for less.”
Although Roer resists the term “midlife crisis”—as do most men—experts say his situation is a classic example of this stage of life. “’Midlife Crisis’ is a developmental adjustment problem, starting at about age 35, and can hit anytime in the next 20 years or so,” says Tom Ferraro, Ph.D., a psychotherapist in Williston Park. “Many, many, many men go through some degree of it.
“It’s a difficulty in midlife related to a failure to obtain their great dreams,” explains Ferraro. “You realize you’re not going to be Tiger Woods or Bill Gates. In our society, you have to be number one, or you’re nothing at all—which is really a problem nowadays.”
The midlife crisis—by whatever name—is really a quest to buy more time—and hold onto youth. Men find many different ways to do that—from pumping iron and plastic surgery to baldness treatments and illegal human growth hormone—and everything
in between.
Looking Good
We need not look any further than the men’s grooming aisle at the drugstore—or the proliferation of men’s health and fitness magazines in recent years—for evidence of men’s increased efforts to stay young and attractive.
Paul Barricelli, 44, had a self-described “midlife crisis” when he turned 40. “I went through a lot of stress and anxiety, but I worked through it,” he says.
And looking good is part of helping him to feel his best. He exercises, eats right—and regularly sprays Rogaine® on his hair. “It’s definitely slowed down the progression of my baldness,” says Barricelli, of Patchogue.
Like Barricelli, Roer works hard to maintain his health. He hits the gym most days—and works with a personal trainer twice a week. “I want to stay as healthy as I can for as long as I can,” he says.
Wanting More
For some men, eating well and working out—or even using over-the-counter baldness treatments—aren’t enough. Plastic surgery, for instance, is up dramatically among middle-aged men on Long Island. “There has been a very significant increase in both surgical and nonsurgical procedures for men over the past year or two,” says Lyle Leipziger, M.D., Chief of Plastic Surgery at North Shore University Hospital and Long Island Jewish Medical Center.
There are several reasons for the increase, according to Leipziger. “Some men are dieting and exercising, and yet still see aging when they look in the mirror,” he says. “Many men seek procedures as a way of staying competitive in the workplace. Others are getting back in the dating scene after a divorce.”
HGH: Fountain of Youth?
Diet, exercise and even plastic surgery are generally safe and effective means to stay healthy and youthful. But some men are on a more extreme quest for the fountain of youth. P.J. Pannone, a personal trainer in Huntington, sees examples of it every day. “Many of my clients are middle-aged men who realize they’re out of shape and have to do something about it,” says Pannone. And most of them tone their bodies with old-fashioned hard work.
“It’s not sexy or glamorous, but it’s tried and proven: exercise combined with a healthy diet is safe—and it works.”
—Gary Wadler, M.D.
But others go further. “I’ve had a number of clients who have gone to the extreme of taking Human Growth Hormone (HGH),” he says. “In the bodybuilding and fitness scene, it’s everywhere. It’s all over the Internet. You can’t get away from it.”
And while professional athletes vehemently deny using it to boost performance, actor Sylvester Stallone recently told Time magazine that he used HGH to bulk up for the latest installment of “Rambo.”
Although HGH use is seemingly everywhere, Wellness couldn’t find anybody willing to be interviewed. “It’s just not something people are going to talk about,” says Pannone.
HGH is touted by many as a fountain of youth, but is mired in controversy because it’s approved by the FDA only to treat growth disorders in children, adults with pituitary failure, and for the end-stages of AIDS. “HGH is the only drug I know of that cannot be prescribed off-label. In order to prescribe it, doctors need to prove the inability to normally produce HGH,” says Gary Wadler, M.D., an internist in Manhasset and a committee chairman of the World Anti-Doping Agency.
“There’s been an up tick in the use of human growth hormone because of this whole notion of ‘anti-aging’ and the proliferation of anti-aging clinics and programs. The assertions are that it’s magical,” says Wadler, also a clinical associate professor of medicine at NYU School of Medicine. “But in reality, HGH will only make you stronger if you have an actual deficiency,” he says. “The anti-aging community says that it keeps people young, but that’s an off-label use. The weekend warrior types may look stronger, more muscular, but in fact they are probably not.”
One of the reasons it is such a highly regulated drug is because it has significant negative consequences when used for non-medical purposes. “It exposes all the organs in the body to excess amounts of HGH which makes everything bigger—the heart, the liver, the hands and the jaw,” says Wadler. “It’s also associated with hypertension, diabetes, and other diseases.”
Sexual Potency
There is probably no aging issue that strikes more fear in the hearts of men than virility. Andrew, 59*, of Valley Stream, felt unsure of himself sexually following a divorce six years ago. “I had virtually no intimacy with my wife for the last 10 years of my marriage,” he says. “So I was running on empty.”
When he started dating again after his divorce, he visited an urologist who did a full work-up and determined that his testosterone levels were low. “The name of the game, whether its HGH or testosterone, is to keep it within a normal range for your age, and not supernormal,” says Wadler.
Andrew’s doctor prescribed testosterone replacement for him three years ago. “It’s a cream that I apply to the back of my arms, my stomach and the inside of my thighs every morning after I shower,” he explains.
And he’s happy to avoid male potency pills, like Viagra®, which he calls a “magic bullet.” “This naturally increases my testosterone levels and helps my potency,” he says.
“It’s convenient, has no side effects, and works well for the most part.”
Healthy Alternatives
So how does a middle-aged man safely maintain health and youthfulness? “Unfortunately, we have not yet mastered turning back the clock,” says Dr. Wadler. “The objectives have to be realistic. And then you just need the discipline to follow a regular exercise program and a healthy diet.
“It’s not sexy or glamorous, but it’s tried and proven: exercise combined with a healthy diet is safe—and it works.”
Eating well and exercising regularly is exactly what both Barricelli and Roer are doing. And they’re determined to enjoy the second half of their lives to the fullest—including their families and careers.
Barricelli’s enjoyment also includes the Porsche 928 that he bought a few months ago.“I’m now having my second midlife crisis,” he laughs. “I’m seeing the second half of my life and I want to stay young for as long as possible.”
More Men Opting for Plastic Surgery Today
In the quest to look young and attractive, more men are visiting plastic surgeons. “Ten years ago, it was not nearly as popular for men to seek plastic surgery,” says Dr. Leipziger. “It is much more accepted for men today.”
According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, the number of procedures performed on men was just over one million last year, an increase of 17 percent over the previous year. Almost half of those procedures were performed on men between the ages of 35 and 50.
“Men are spending more time dieting and exercising, and they feel good,” says Leipziger. “But they look in the mirror and see aging. The way they feel on the inside is not necessarily reflected in the image they see.”
Leipziger adds, “Men want to improve their appearance and confidence in a safe environment. They seek everything from non-surgical injections to surgical contouring of their bodies.”
The Top Cosmetic Procedures
The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery reports the following procedures for men in order of popularity:
Surgical
- Liposuction
- Eyelid Surgery
- Rhinoplasty
- Male Breast Reduction
- Hair Transplantation
Non-Surgical
- Botox Injections
- Laser hair removal
- Microdermabrasion
- Hyaluronic acid filling agents
(Juvederm, Restylane)
- Skin Resurfacing Treatments
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